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Suburbia is only a state of mind. . .

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It's the Saturday of memorial weekend...eve of my fifteenth birthday. Tomorrow Mom, Daddy, Brother and I will head down to the City to see The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee (it's a musical) and eat at the Grand Luxe Cafe. Every year on my birthday, we go see a musical. Last year it was Wicked, and before that The Lion King. Gemma and Annie are fishing in MN this weekend, as they do every Memorial Day Weekend, so I probably won't do anything with my friends until summer.
I went to see PoTC 3 last night with Faye and Alice. Faye and I loved it, but Alice, the smartest of the group, didn't understand what was going on. Oh well...maybe we'll go see it again. Faye and I certainly wouldn't mind. James just left. He came over and we watched Forrest Gump on TBS. I cried; I always do. Basically, I cry through the whole movie and by the time that feather is floating away for good I have makeup all over my face. James is good company though. I love him...he is like a brother to me, and has been for as long as I can remember. Speaking of which, Brother wandered in and out throughout the movie, looking bored. He's grounded from his PS2 and PSP because, to make a long story short, he and his little friends are out of control. Mom and Daddy, exhausted, went out to dinner to "escape" us. No matter what one or the other does, they always glom us together as one collective person. Don't get me wrong; Brother is not a bad kid. He's not a bully, and he's smart. But he's always been "the funny one" in our family, and with his friends (some of whom I am not to fond of), and so lately he's been a little...sassy. He smarts off all the time to  our parents and argues about everything. It can be irksome, but mostly I just miss spending time with him. I get the feeling that Brother is avoiding me. Don't know why; guess I'm just not cool enough. Ha ha ha...
Tomorrow's the day,
Lucie
Current Location:
My house
Current Mood:
calm calm
Current Music:
"The General" Dispatch
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Well, much has happened in my isolated little world since I last wrote in. Gemma and Will "broke up" (for lack of a better word) and "got back together" (ditto). I wasn't upset. Even if Gem really did stop liking him, I could never ask him out myself.
Mostly, I'm exhausted. High School Musical opens today, in 4 hours. Last night was our dress rehearsal, which was a disaster. The four leads (Will, Garlen, Matt, and myself) and a couple of the kids with supporting roles did their best to carry the show, but most of the cast just doesn't care anymore. Missed cues, dropped lines, and bungled dances riddled the run. Our director screamed at us, but did nothing to help. I burst into tears in the girls bathroom after the final bows. I couldn't believe that kids who supposedly wanted to be in the show were ruining it for the few that were actually working hard. Garlen and Grace, who plays Ms. Darbus, did their best to comfort me, but tears were still running down my cheeks when I sat down in the empty green room to take off my layers of stage makeup (yuck!). Will came and gave me a hug. I started bawling again and got mascara all over his costume, but he was very nice about it. Regardless of how I feel about him, or he feels about me (?), we will always be close friends.
Yipee.
Well...wish me luck! Today's the day!

Hoping to break a leg,
Lucie
Current Location:
My house
Current Mood:
drained drained
Current Music:
"If I Can't Love Her" Beauty and the Beast Original Broadway Cast Recording
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Today, I stood by my window and looked out at my yard. We have a beautiful lilac bush, right by my window, and I decided that I needed to go out and get some flowers for my room. While I carefully clipped away some of the purple blooms, a butterfly came and landed on one of the branches. It was orange and black and white and had a huge chunk missing out of its left wing. But if flew away, as easily as any other butterfly. I thought it was one of the most inspiring things I had ever seen, so I rushed inside to tell my mother, who was cooking (Happy Mother's Day!) I told her about it, but she didn't even look up.

Mom: Okay, that's nice.
Me: But isn't that so sweet?
Mom: I guess.

She was so dispassionate. I couldn't believe it; I mean, she is an artist. Whatever. I love her very much, but I was disappointed.

Longing to fly away,
Lucie
Tags: ,
Current Location:
My house
Current Mood:
disappointed disappointed
Current Music:
None
* * *
Well, it's been awhile. . .again. I've just been busy. Lame excuse, huh?
Our Town opened and ran. It was one of the best experiences I've ever had. I got some high praise from people I admire-- our director, who is a genius, nominated me for "Best Supporting Actress" for our High School Theater awards. it's an annual formal awards ceremony; our director nominates students and fellow drama kids vote in the categories. I don't care if I get it. I'm only a frosh, and all the other nominees are seniors. They deserve it more.
I've been hanging our with James alot, as usual. We just get along so well, it's almost habitual. I think that I'll never be a dried up old maid, because in the event that I never fall in love (oh please God, no) I'll have James.
I can picture what that would be like:

Me: You wanna get married?
James: *Shrugs* Okay.

I asked him to Turnabout this year because I didn't want to ask anyone else, and I knew he would say yes. I'm a coward, I know it.
Will and Gemma haven't gone anywhere in their relationship. She is pissed at him for not "making a move". I know I must seem like I'm obsessing over them; I suppose I am. And I have a sneaking suspicion as to why...
Today at High School Musical practice, the boy who plays Ryan and I were struggling with our tango number. the woman directing/choreographing the show is a nightmare. Anyway, we were tripping over each other and making complete fools of ourselves in front of the whole cast; of course, Will was making a video of it on his cell. I saw it and was totally embarrassed, so I threatened to destroy his phone.

Will: Maybe I'll send it to everyone I know..
Me: No, no! Please delete it. Please! Will!
Will: Hmm...
Me: *Kneeling* I'm on my knees-- please please delete the video.
Will: Okay. *Deletes it* But I'm keeping the pictures.
Me: Fine. They don't look too awful.
Will: *Flipping through them* Actually, you look pretty cute.

Whoah! That was out of the blue. At first I thought he was teasing me, but he was totally serious. I didn't know what to say, so I just mumbled a "Thank you, that's very sweet" and all but ran away. I mean, he's practically with Gemma! She adores him, most of the time. But what if he likes me? Do I like him? I didn't think that I did...but now I don't know. He's really handsome and stuff but I would never make a move. Still, it did make me happy when he called me cute.

Lucie
Current Location:
My house
Current Mood:
confused confused
Current Music:
"Bitch of Living" from Spring Awakening
* * *
I just discovered the imcomparable musical "Spring Awakening." It. Is. AMAZING. All I've been doing in my free time for the past few days is singing the songs, especially "Mama Who Bore Me", "I Don't Do Sadness/ Blue Winds", and "The Bitch of Living".  If I could play one character, it would be Wendla. Oh, how I hope it comes to Chicago!

So I'm happy. . .

But on the other hand, it is a really sad musical. So now I feel all strage and bipolar.

Meh,
Lucie

Current Location:
My house
Current Mood:
Happy and sad at the same time
Current Music:
"The Word of Your Body" from Spring Awakening
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Haven't written in a few days. Nothing much to say. Rehearsal are making my life insane. Tomorrow I have six hours of rehearsal-- "Our Town" and "High School Musical". Also, I'm going to see Will's play. Gemma decided last minute that she's coming too. She doesn't realize that he's completely, head-over-heels, in love with her. I get the idea that Gem really likes him, but is, perhaps, a little bored of poor Will. I talked to James about this, and he agreed, of course. James is the agreeing type. We have been friends since we were three, an impossibly long time. I love him to death, but "not in that way". I don't have a boyfriend. I don't even "like" anyone right now.
Gem is sooooo lucky. Will treats her like a princess! Am I jealous?
No.
Well. . .
Maybe a little.
Current Location:
My house
Current Mood:
groggy groggy
Current Music:
"Nothing Better" Postal Service
* * *
School was canceled because of massive amounts of snow and power outages, so I spent some time making new User Pictures for myself:



God bless Photoshop!
Current Location:
My house
Current Mood:
accomplished accomplished
Current Music:
"Wait" Get Set Go
* * *
Not much to report today. Rehearsal was long, and I slipped off the ladder and cut my hand. Not too deep, but enough to draw blood. I couldn't sing much in choir today, because I have a wretchedly sore throat. Oh yeah, there's more Gemma/Will drama, but honestly I'm just to tired to write anything more at the moment. I'll post a nice long entry tomorrow. Right now, all I want to do is make a huge kettle of lemon tea and curl up with my sewing and "Pride and Prejudice" on audio book.

*Cough*
Lucie

Current Location:
My house
Current Mood:
sick sick
Current Music:
"I'm Not That Girl" from Wicked
* * *
Monday, April 9th

I went back to school today. Woo-hoo, fun! Not. Urgh, I'm just so fed up with everything at school, except for "Our Town". I love it sooo much! The upper classmen are very talented, and just watching them is fun, although my part isn't too shabby either. I play Rebecca, the main character's precocious little sister. Our director keeps adding on to my part, too. Now I get to hold the baby during the funeral. My favorite scene is the breakfast one. I love working with Molly, who plays my mother, Mrs. Gibbs. She is actually dating the boy who plays Dr. Gibbs-- they are unbelievably adorable. We got our shirt order forms today. The shirts will be gray with black, nothing too exciting. Still, it is my inaugural theater production at my high school, and I intend to make the most of it. Everyone gets inside jokes printed on the back, so mine will say "Gustav". (It's a long story, I'll write it later.) I guess that's about it for today. God, why must my entries be so pedestrian??? Why can't anything exciting ever happen to me?

Be careful what you wish for, I guess.

Pedestrian-ly yours,
Lucie
Current Location:
My house
Current Mood:
frustrated frustrated
Current Music:
"All At Once" The Fray
* * *
I know I said I wouldn't write any more today, but I am so happy because the man who runs the theater company I do plays at just confirmed that I have a position helping out with the younger students' version of "The Wizard of Oz" this summer. I have a really good job  the best job in the world! This way, even if I don't make any plays this summer, I will have something to keep me busy and entertained. Plus, cash. ;-)
Current Location:
My house
Current Mood:
excited excited
Current Music:
"Hong Kong Garden" Siouxie and the Banshees
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